The book is Undoing Depression by Richard O'Connor. Got it out from the library because it sounded somewhat similar to some of the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy stuff and I wanted to see if it was actually like that or self-help bunk, and if the former, whether it was distinct enough from stuff I've already got to be worth picking up a copy. Verdict: it's okay, but nothing special when I already have the ACT books.
I marked this passage from p. 109 to come back to later.
"Viewed in this light, procrastination is a form of passive-aggression that the depressive uses very cleverly to make himself feel miserable. The resented authority is not the abandoning therapist or the bossy parent, but the part of the self that says to the depressive, 'You really should (wash the dishes, paint the living room, get a better job...).' Instead of acknowledging the conflict between this part of the self that sets standards and moralizes and the part that feels entitled to have the biggest piece of cake, the depressive will procrastinate. Instead of washing dishes, he will go to the store to buy a new sponge, and while there be tempted by the display of canning supplies and decide now is the time to put up pickles. The next day he'll have more dirty dishes, a lot of cucumbers, and no pickles, because in the middle of the project he'll get frustrated and sit down to watch Oprah. He'll be temporarily distracted but his low opinion of himself and his idea that he can't meet his goals has just been reinforced. Of course he may be distracted from these feelings by taking up a whole new project from Oprah."
There are some aspects of this that don't ring quite true, although I'm not sure I could articulate exactly what and how, but most of it? DO YOU HAVE A CAMERA IN MY HOUSE? AND ALSO MY HEAD?
In my case this also turns into resenting anyone other than myself who tries to tell me I should do things I'm already procrastinating about; it also leads to doing nothing, or at least things that have no useful value at all, because I tell myself I shouldn't do [thing that is at least somewhat constructive and a lot more fun than procrastinated thing] until I have done [procrastinated thing] but I don't feel like doing [procrastinated thing] yet so neither get done and instead it's internet forever. Sometimes that's also a method of procrastinating on the fun thing, because I often do procrastinate on things that I think are fun but require commitment over time, or that are new and I might not be good at, or so on -- anything that I'm subconsciously worrying about messing up.
On the other hand, sometimes it helps a lot having company while I'm doing something that I feel resentful and procrastinate-y about, whether they're also doing something related or just being present for conversation. (It works a lot better if I asked for it or if it was volunteered without any recent nagging, though. If I feel like someone has nagged me and now is hovering around to see if I'm going to do it, I REALLY don't want to do it until they're out of my hair.) I'm not entirely sure WHY, but I've noticed it both in situations where I was dividing up cleaning tasks with someone else or working on separate things in the same room, and also, after I realized it was a thing, when I have specifically asked someone to come over and keep me company whole I got stuff done. I think part of it is that having company can help to make things feel less overwhelming, and part of it is that having company gives me something to fill the time it takes to do the thing besides just the thing itself, because I know one of the things my brain does is convince itself that things I don't want to do take much longer than they actually take.